Karen Marie Collins
The story of how this beautiful girl from
upstate New York made her bridal dream come true!
I've wanted to be a bride ever since I saw the
Royal Wedding (the wedding of Prince Charles, Prince of Wales and Lady Diana
Spencer in 1981) when I was 12 - I fell in love with Princess Diana's dress!
Evn though I was pretty much a typical boy, I always used to daydream about
being a princess or a flower girl - especially wearing a pretty dress or
being fussed over. My bridal dreams probably grew out of those young "girl"
desires.
I used to browse through bridal and prom catalogues as a teen and college
student - I even had my prom dress and hairstyle, how I wanted to look, all
picked out, but alas, it was only a dream. I finally started shopping at
bridal shops after I got out of college and into a full-time job. I found
two in the town where I work that had open-minded sales ladies who had no
problem with me wanting to purchase gowns - most probably because my money
was just as good as a real woman's!
I was able to try gowns on, and I had a few bridesmaid and prom-type gowns
fitted at these shops, as well as four other shops in the general area. I
simply go to a shop as my male self to browse around, and if I feel comfortable
with the sales lady (I try to look for a middle-aged woman), I tell her that
I am really shopping for myself - when the unspoken implication that I do
drag shows or something like that. I always present myself as confident and
friendly, so they don't think I'm a pervert or something. I guess I must
be pretty bold! And fortunately, more people seem to be fairly accepting
of crossdressing in this area anyway (in upstate New York).
I have many fond memories of trying on wedding and formal gowns in bridal
shops. I always bring along my foundation garments in a bag to change into
before I try on a gown, as well as my wig to to see the total effect. I'm
fortunate that I'm short and slender (5'5", 135 pounds, size 12-14) and I'm
an easy fit. I remember Cindy, one of my favorite and discreet sales ladies
at a nearby bridal salon, remarking that wedding gowns fit me so well that
I would make a real woman (genetic female) jealous!
I remember another sales lady, a lovely Italian lady, who was so excited
about getting me into a gown that she practically shoved me into a changing
room with a couple of gorgeous wedding gowns. I was kind of nervous, as there
were other customers in the store, but she just said; "Oh, get that dress
on!" I did, and by that time, the other customers had left, so she had me
come out and stand in front of the big mirror in the shop and pronounced
that it looked perfect on me, and exclaimed that my waist was so thin!
I had another older sales lady, Millie, who even showed me proper comportment
and how to walk and act like a bride while she was fitting me for a gown
- the same gown I am wearing in my portraits (see above). It was great
fun - I love being fussed over like a bride.
The gown in my photos is an Alfred Angelo label, and I fell in love with
it when I saw it in the catalogue. I decided to purchase it at Millie's shop,
Bridal Lane. I had bought an informal wedding dress from her a year earlier
- a white tea-length gown of taffeta overlaid with lace. Now I wanted to
go for the full formal wedding look, and after trying on several styles at
Millie's shop, I decided to buy the size 12 gown she had in stock, like the
one I had seen in the catalogue. I also bought all the proper bridal accessories
and undergarments - silky white bridal stockings that garter to my white
lace longline strapless bra, white satin high-heeled pumps, white satin gloves,
a fancy headpiece and veil, and of course, a full-length bridal crinoline
slip. I picked out the headpiece while wearing my gown, to be sure they went
together.
Millie did a couple of gown fittings on me to get it sized properly - of
course, I had to wear everything (shoes, crinoline, etc.) to get the fit
right - and that's when she showed me how to carry myself like a bride, how
to lift and maneuver my skirts, how to walk down the aisle, and which side
of the groom to stand on, with my arm through his.
I purchased another wedding gown a couple of years later - also an Alfred
Angelo, in white satin, but more elaborate lace trim, short puffed sleeves,
V-neckline, basque waist, a huge back bow and a very full skirt with a
chapel-length train that has a lace-trimmed hem and lace cutouts. It's gorgeous,
and I'm dying to do another portait sitting in it!
I did my first bridal portrait sitting about four years ago, before I met
my wife, which is why I never did a bridal photo session with a groom - which
is still one of my fondest fantasies. My wife won't go for it (she's only
semi-tolerant of my dressing), but I'd still like to do a photo session with
my nice formal and wedding garments. Hopefully, I will someday!
For my bridal portraits, I called around to photography studios in my area,
looking specifically for female (GG) photographers. I found three who were
open to the idea of shooting me as a bride, and I met each one face-to-face.
One was too far away, another was in my hometown, which made me nervous,
but I was really comfortable with the third, a lovely woman named Katherine.
She had initially thought that my request was some sort of joke, but I assured
her that I was a crossdresser who really wanted to do a bridal portrait sitting.
She thought it would be lots of fun, so we set up an appointment to meet.
I went to Katherine's studio and immediately liked her - she was friendly
and outgoing and had so many ideas. We chatted about her portfolio, about
wedding gowns, and about how she could make me look better as a bride. It
seemed we were both looking forward to my photo session, which we set for
the beginning of February. She asked if I needed help with my makeup, because
she could do it for me, but I told her that I was planning to have a professional
makeover done before I arrived for my portrait sitting. I told her to expect
me to arrive in female attire.
Next, I made an appointment for a makeover at the salon where I bought my
wig from a young genetic female named Kari, who styles my wig from time to
time, and she said; "No problem". So, I had my makeover set for a couple
of hours before the photo session - 3:30 for a 5:30 p.m. photo session -
and it was on the way to the studio.
My big day finally came, and I went for it. I had done a "dry run" a couple
of nights earlier, dressing up and going out for a late-night drive, just
to get used to driving with heels on. I shaved my face and my entire body
(my arm hair is fine enough to not show), plucked my eyebrows as much as
I dared, and packed all my things in my car - a bag with all my Karen clothes
and bridal accessories, my wedding gown and my crinoline.
I went in male drab to the salon, about 40 minutes from where I live, and
had a private makeover- makeup and wig styling. Kari did a terrific job,
applying foundation, blush, eye liner, eye shadow, mascara and lipstick to
my face, transforming me into Karen Marie. She then had my wig, using a special
wig hair spray to lock the style in place. I looked great, quite passable,
and I changed into a navy blue skirt suit, white blouse and navy blue high
heels. I looked like a secretary or a businesswoman!
After gathering my things and paying my bill - no one gave me a second look,
except for the woman at the register, who told me I looked very nice - I
got back into my car as Karen, and I drove the remaining few miles to the
photography studio. Fortunately, it was unusually warm for February, so I
didn't need a coat.
Katherine's studio, which she has moved uptown, was in an old brownstone
in a city neighborhood, located on the first floor. I found a parking spot
just across the street, grabbed my bags and headed for the door. I range
the bell, and Katherine came to the door. "Hey, you look great!", she exclaimed,
and insisted on helping me bring all my stuff in.
She had everything set up, and said I could change into my bridal gown in
the next room. She asked if I needed help, but I said I was fine, although
I did ask her to zip me up. She told me I looked fantastic when she saw me
as the blushing bride. Once out in the studio, she pinned my headpiece to
my wig, and applied my fake fingernails for me. While she was doing that,
I asked her to call me "Karen", and she had no problem with that - in fact,
she told me she was going to ask me what I wanted to be called, so I was
Karen for the rest of the two-hour photo shoot.
Katherine had a lot of great ideas for poses, and I had 27 photos taken of
me as a bride, and three more in a white and black cocktail dress that I
have. Her studio was in one of the front rooms, decorated like a Victorian
living room or parlor, a perfect backdrop for a bride.
The pics came out great, so you can see that she started with some back views,
then had me turn around for some front-facing pictures, before we were
interrupted by some other customers. She left the room and closed the door
behind me, leaving me standing in the middle of the studio room in my wedding
gown. I almost wished she had left the door open, so the people who stopped
by could have seen me.
We resumed with Katherine taking several shots of me sitting in shair, then
taking a few more of me facing the camera. "I love that little smile, it's
perfect", she commented.
It was a wonderful experience. While she worked and posed me, Katherine treated
me just like she would treat any other bride, engaging me in girl talk about
dresses that we liked or didn't like, plus my interests, how I became interested
in wedding gowns, and how I'd love to be a bride in a mock wedding ceremony.
We even discussed how neat it would be to do a bride-and-groom shoot someday,
and she talked about the possibilities for poses with a groom, even doing
an "engagement" photo beforehand.
Katherine had another idea, and decided to take some more pics of me against
a dark background, holding a rose instead of my silk flower bouquet. Finally,
I changed into my white and black brocade cocktail dress - with a white bodice
that looks like a jacket over a slim black dress - and she took three pics
of me against the dark background.
She asked if I had ever gone out as a girl to a bar or something, and I told
her about the costume parties I had gone to in college wearing my
then-girlfriend's prom dress, but I hadn't gone out much since then. "Gosh,
you certainly could. You look so great, no one could tell".
I almost asked her if she wanted to give it a try and maybe go out for a
drink, but I decided I might be pushing my luck too much. I really wish I
had done that. It would have been a blast!
Once we were done, I thanked her profusely, changed back into my skirtsuit,
settled my bill, and Katherine hugged me, one girl to another. Katherine
helped me with loading my car with my stuff - Katherine came rushing back
out of the studio, calling; "Karen, you forgot your comb". Once again, we
embraced like ladies, and I headed for home.
Fortunately (or unfortunately?), no one was around to see me arrive back
at my apartment, since it was dark by the time I got back. I remained en
femme for the rest of the evening, slipping back into my wedding gown for
a while. I even slept in my white satin nightgown that night.
(Editor's Note: Karen was the winner of The T-Bride of The Month Award
for May 2000.)
